Adapting – What are you giving your time to?

I wrote this a few years ago.

I’m happy to say I no longer cry “every” morning, exception: Tearios for breakfast…

Happy Matters

A poem. Sorta.

Just got up
Brushed my teeth,
Got some coffee,
Went outside.

I prefer the outdoors
Look up at the sky
Count my blessings
Have a good cry.

The tears help
With the pain
Somehow slightly
Washing like rain.

I have an hour to me
Before the kids rise
Stretch out my body
Rub the sleep from my eyes.

Spend some time with friends
Virtual though they may be
Facebook keeps me connected
To those I love but cannot see.

I only have a few hours
In a day, you see.
Only so many awake
Even fewer, pain free.

My laundry list of ailments
Is usually a surprise
“But you look so healthy”
Is on their lips or in their eyes.

I’ll take your empathy
Living with narcolepsy
And pain every day is
Anything but easy.

“But you always seem so happy”
Comes incredulously, verbally
“Can you be?”
Thought silently.

I didn’t think I could be
Actually
For 41 years
Happiness eluded me

When it finally came my way
I remember clearly the day
The moment, even,
It took my breath away

It took my sadness
My mental tightness
It took the anger
I felt the lightness.

My tears used to burn
Hot tracks down my face
Drowning me in misery
Stealing my grace

I discovered myself again
Through the eyes of beautiful friends
Through music and laughter
And gratitude that never ends

I made friends with my pain
Calmed the quiet riot
Through yoga and meditation
For years I’d been scared to try it

Now here I stand
Well, sit actually 😉
It’s still too early
For my creaky body

I have about five hours
Before my first nap is imminent
Sometimes less, rarely more
Depends on what I do in it

Some things eat my time
Ridiculously quick
Pain, drama, bad news
People being a … jerk 😉

One thing keeps me going
No matter how briefly
And that, my friend,
Is my eternal happy

When all around me chaos reigns
Happy sets the shackles free
Laughter, music, friendship, love
All help me find my way back to me

If you’re only awake
Twelve hours a day
Why on earth
Give any away?

When you only have
Ten hours for you
Why let misery
Have a few?

Down to eight measly hours.
All day. There’s barely time to pee
Much less drink 8 glasses of water
To stay “healthy”

So what do you give up
When you have so little time?
Instead think, what makes the cut?
Choose only the sublime.

In my 8-12 hours a day
I still have to do things that get in the way
I work, kids to feed, bills to pay
Chores, meals, pets all before I can play

I rush like a ferret
Doing all I can do
Who has time
For negative doo doo?

Happy matters
Is my philosophy
Not just a kitschy phrase
It’s a necessity.

I fill my life with love
My man, my kids, my dogs, my friends
When you’re always grateful
The list of things to love never ends

You may have a few more
Hours a day than me
Count them up
And you’ll see

What are you doing with yours?
I ask you now politely.
How many hours a day
Do you give away to misery?

DMT 2014