It could be worse & The devil that you know…
It could be worse and The devil that you know…
Some people get offended or upset when they’re expressing their health issues to them and they say something like, “It could be worse!” and, while it sucks to feel like they’re not grasping the gravity of the situation, it actually, always, up to and including dismemberment and death, could be worse…
So, instead of getting upset about it, redirect with something like…
“People always say that about things they don’t understand.” Or,
“It has been worse, it’s actually pretty good now.”
Or, “It’s getting worse, I’m just looking forward to learning how to have my life be more manageable.”
Or, if you’re feeling confrontational – “Is that what I should say to you when you get an incurable illness?” People, mostly, do NOT want to hurt your feelings, they’re not setting out to make you feel bad.
“I’m sorry you heard it that way.”
In relationships sometimes people say things that leave you feeling bad. Sometimes you say things that make other people feel bad. Most of those scenarios are just a misunderstanding and, if they’re not, you need new relationships or to work on boundaries (Google them, it’s worth it). The best thing to do when someone says something that upsets you, is to consider the relationship on the whole. I learned to do this while co-existing with my husband but it was the reverse. I was saying things that were upsetting him. I am relatively calm most of the time and can be very direct sometimes, so I can come off as cold, uncaring or not giving the situation the proper gravity the person feels it deserves. As a solution, I started telling my husband… “You know me. If you hear me say something that leaves you feeling bad, you know that was not my goal. I don’t say things on purpose to make people feel bad, it’s not my jam. I love you, I want you to bloom and grow and thrive, cutting remarks don’t lend to that.” Then I try to clarify what I meant by what I said. “That came out wrong.” is a very healthy admission that allows you to repair any damage that may have been done by your words, “I’m sorry you heard it that way.” is also good, and you can say that to yourself when other people say things that upset you. There, there dear.
If you are a person who gets miffed when people say, “It could be worse!” then you, personally, need to work on that. Their words do not generate the angst, you do by your perception of the phrase. Just decide it’s not going to bother you any longer and voila! It won’t! As a narcoleptic of going on 38 years now, I am living through an “it could be worse.” On October 6th I got bit by some Buffalo Gnats and it started up an insect bite – hivish reaction that left about 80% of my body covered in hives, rash, wheals, lichenification, eruptions. It was very difficult and it’s not over yet. I’m going to do a separate post and video about the experience and the leaky gut diet if you’re interested in either of those things, just subscribe to get updates or check back. While dealing with this issue, I also was living through a… the devil that you know, scenario. (Update: it took me 5 long months to recover, some of what I tried is here: Trying the leaky gut diet
Definition of better the devil you know than the devil you don’t
—used to say that it is better to deal with a difficult person or situation one knows than with a new person or situation that could be worse
I’ve had Fibromyalgia/Myofascial Pain Syndrome for over 24 years. I know all about it. I know every trigger point. I know what movements aggravate it, what pain relievers work, what stretches help, when to push and when not to push. And, I’m also learning new things about it all the time. As an example I recently watched a youtube video that showed me how to sit differently in my car to accommodate my lower back pain and within days of changing the way I sat, I’ll be darned if I didn’t feel better. Here’s the link to his channel, he puts out a lot of pain relieving content and ideas: MotivationalDoc on YouTube
I am an expert on my fibro. Somehow, things always get interesting for me, when the skin issue started, my fibro decided to take a vacation. Like, completely gone. Not one trigger point flaring and I usually have 3 – 7 at a time making noise. No widespread body pain. Plenty of pain lol, my skin was a raging inferno and I had terribly painful swelling that moved from my biceps to thighs to calves to ankles. But, no fibro pain at all.
Where I knew what to do for my fibro, I had no idea what to do for this. Oils, creams, calamine, oatmeal baths… step after step I did the WRONG thing and ended up with worse than what I had before. As it was super rare, docs were fairly useless – more about that in my upcoming Urticaria post. Bottom line is, I almost “miss” my fibro lol. That said, I am doing the same thing with the skin issue that I did with the fibro… learning, asking questions, trying different things related to products and eating. Does this fabric work better, is sleeping with clothes better than without, should I keep this covered or uncovered, what’s the best way to clean myself? Each moment of the day, noticing what’s changing, trying to apply some measure to help my body roll with the changes. It’s a whole process, a whole new devil to know.
I’m incredibly grateful to have had this respite from the fibro. Pain is a horrible bestie lol. I’m also hopeful I can sort out the skin thing AND have the fibro not come back… time will tell. In the meantime, I just remember, it could be worse…
Take the time to get to know yourself and how you tick. The person that will benefit the most from the time investment, is you; and you’re kind of stuck with you, so you might as well try stuff.
Urticaria (hives) and Leaky Gut Diet on deck, along with Warm Water and Honey for caffeine withdrawal, wakefulness and weight loss; Celery Juice for your tummy; and a Holiday Giveaway! Possibly I might be able to get to the Killing the Monkey 2 video over the holiday break.
“In case you missed it”
If you missed Killing the Monkey, that’s a really good one to start learning how to quiet your mind without meditation, read here: Killing the Monkey in your mind
If you missed my post about starting a Daily Dose of Positivity for people with chronic illness email list, you can read about and sign up for that by clicking on that link. (Changed to just a Dose because “daily” and chronic illness do not play well together…
“Thank you so much for being here!”
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